Splintered Existence
by nitsuAPJ
Summary: E/B. New Moon - After Edward leaves, Bella wakes up with no memory of the Cullens. What happens when her body longs to be a vampire as her memory fights to return? No Romance with Jacob.
1. Chapter 1

**Splintered Existence**

**Chapter 1 – Drowning in nothing**

Out in the darkness, bright sparks gleamed. A feeling of safety surrounded them.

But the sparks were distant and faded fast.

-0-0-0-0-0-

_What happens to you when your love tells you goodbye forever?_

_What happens to your tomorrows, looking at an endless sea of nothing but pain?_

_What happens the next time you open your eyes?_

I opened my eyes.

I had no idea exactly what I expected, but it was probably not this.

_Nothing_.

Splintered memories fluttered and floated through the abyss of my mind; they became mired down and unmoving, caught in the net of the nothingness that surrounded me.

_Nothing_.

Not just white, or the absence of color—just... nothing.

It was not a void—a void was at least something.

Nor was it a vacuum—for that meant it could at least become something.

The word nothing didn't even describe it; that would indicate the absence of something.

It wasn't a beginning—beginning means that there will be something at some time.

It wasn't the end—there had to be something there to begin with to have an ending to.

Nothing, nothing, and more nothing. Even the sparks were gone, as if they had never existed.

Nothing above and nothing below me.

Nothing to either side of me.

There was nothing before nor behind me.

The pressure of the nothing surrounded me, stifling my movements, suffocating me. It was too invasive and could not be fought.

How do you fight something, which comes from inside of yourself?

I opened my mouth to speak; nothing came out, not even a whisper.

I reached up to touch my mouth.

I felt nothing there—hands weren't there to even feel with.

I looked down at my body; again, I saw nothing.

There was no body to look at—nor were there any eyes to see with.

Where am I?

Was I even here since I couldn't see or hear myself?

Did the nothing steal away my broken and splintered existence?

Am I even real?

-0-0-0-0-0-

Voices faded in and out, loud then soft. Garbled by their inconsistencies—a liquid rush going to and fro, battling the voices, making them sound distant and then near, as if heard underwater.

The world of nothing disappeared, and became just darkness. The pressure on my body and eyes lessened. The voices sounded clearer, as if the liquid tide had begun to recede. I noticed a lightening of the darkness covering my eyes. Light shone through eyelids, a brightness seeping through the thin membrane of skin.

There was something familiar about the voices I heard now, but I couldn't place it. Where had I heard them before?

I listened closely, trying to hear through the receding liquid tide.

-0-0-0-0-0-

"Thank God you're here, Renee!" a deep male baritone clearly spoke with evident excitement..

"You told me that I needed to see her to understand you completely. I'm here; now show me," a feminine alto voice spoke, aggravation heavy in her tone.

The voices ceased, the sound of nearing footsteps replacing them. There was a slight pause, and then came a loud sound of something hitting the floor beside me. I felt a woman's hands touching my face, the slight pressure of fingertips sliding across my forehead then brushing softly over my cheeks. The same hands then cupped my face and I heard the sharp sound of a sob breaking through the barrier of the strange woman's lips.

"Oh, my baby. My poor, sweet baby. What have you done to yourself?" the woman crooned, her breath hitching as she spoke.

The woman turned away from me as she spoke, and her voice hardened. "Charlie, just what the hell is going on here?"

I heard a loud sigh, and then the man spoke softly. "This is what _he_ did to her."

There was a shuffling sound; the hands released my face, then a weight descended, shifting the material beneath me.

"She's so thin. When was the last time she ate?" the woman asked, taking my hand into her own.

Another weight shifted me.

"Nothing solid for two days." The man's voice sounded closer to me. "I don't know what to do any more," the man sighed.

A larger, rough skinned hand drifted slowly over one of my arms.

"She won't drink on her own, either." The man's voice became gruff, almost hoarse with emotion.

The woman's weight shifted, coming closer to my still body. "What does the doctor say?" she questioned him, a hint of fear slipping into her hushed whisper.

"That's just it, Renee," he spoke hesitantly. "I don't really want him to see her."

"For God's sake, Charlie! Why not?" The woman's weight lifted off of what I'd come to realize was a bed. "Our daughter obviously needs help. Help that _you_ are withholding from her!"

The man shoved rose from the bed abruptly. The sound of footsteps pacing back and forth started.

"Because he's been throwing shit around about her possibly being catatonic, and he wants to institutionalize her!" my father yelled.

_My father? Yes! I remember now where I'd heard these voices._ They were the voices of my parents. Mom and Dad. Charlie and Renee. A feeling of relief washed over my entire being as two pieces of memory arose from the suffocating nothingness that cloaked my mind.

"I—I just can't do it. I _cannot _do that to my baby girl!"

A sigh rushed past his lips. "See, that—" he choked out. "That's why I asked you to come here."

"I know," Renee said, taking her turn at pacing around the room. "I know. My sweet girl needs me – now more than ever," she sobbed out, sniffling as she did. "You said that _he_ did this." She paused her frantic pacing. "Was it Edward? What did he _do_ to her?"

"Yeah, it was that damned boy. He broke up with her. I don't think she knew how to handle it.".

"But I talked to her just last week, on her birthday! She sounded so happy!"

_My birthday? Last week? Not possible!_

"She _was_ happy," he responded; the chair creaked again as he shifted around on it. "Then..." he paused.

"Then what, Charlie?" my mom prompted him.

"He left her," Dad rasped out abruptly. "In the woods." He stood up quickly, almost upending the chair he just vacated. "That bastard just left her, all alone out there!"

"And to top off that night of hell," he ground out through his teeth. "He and his whole damned family just up and left that same night. It's like they disappeared into thin air, as if they'd never been here."

"What are we going to do, Charlie?" Mom breathed out.

Dad took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"I think," he paused for a moment. "I think maybe she'd be better off going to Florida with you, when you go back, that is."

_Florida? Why would we go to Florida? Mom lives in Arizona, not Florida._

Renee was silent for a minute. "Are you sure? I mean, wouldn't the sudden change of location cause even more trauma for her?"

"Dammit, Renee! I've done nothing _but_ try to think of something that could help her!"

My eyes slipped open just enough to barely see through my eyelashes. I watched my parents, wondering what the hell they were talking about.

"There will be fewer memories for her to have to deal with there."

He closed his eyes, calming himself further before he continued. "The memory of him will follow her everywhere she turns if she stays here."

_Memory of __**him**__? Who was I supposed to be remembering?_

My dad dropped his head, sighing as he cupped the back of his neck with his hand. "Don't you think it would be best for her to be in a place where the memory of himdoesn't surround her?"

He waited for Renee's response.

_I opened my eyes._

**~*~**

Loads of love and heartfelt thanks to my wonderful beta **JudeOrion**.

If you're not reading her story '_**It's been too long**_', go... now... read it! :D

Reviews are not expected, but they are much appreciated.

Till next we meet,

Pam


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – Substitution**

"_I reject your reality and substitute it with my own."_

—Adam Savage

-0-0-0-0-0-

"Renee, look—she's awake!" Charlie exclaimed, love and awe coloring his voice. "Bells, I'm so glad you're finally awake," Charlie said, kissing Bella on the forehead.

"Dad? Mom?" Bella croaked out, voice dry and raspy from thirst and disuse.

"Here's some water, sweetie," Renee handed Charlie a glass of water from the pitcher on the bedside table. "Here, let me sit her up, so it will be easier for her to drink it."

She slid onto the bed across from him and gently lifted her daughter's shoulders, cradling Bella's head as if she were still an infant.

Charlie held the cup's weight and guided it to Bella's lips, not trusting the strength in her arms in her weakened condition.

"Come on, Bella," Renee told her, after she drank her fill for the moment. "We need to get you up. You need to get cleaned up and dressed. You're coming home with me."

_Wha... huh?_ Bella's mind tumbled over the words her mother just uttered.

"Charlie, can you help me get her up?"

He was slack jawed, and looked at her like she was a crazy person.

"Are you out of your mind, woman?" he curtly asked her, still gaping at her. "She just woke up after being out for two days. You think maybe we could actually let her eat something?" he asked, a look of disgust altering his rugged features. "Or do you plan on dragging her behind you through the airport since she's still too weak to even stand, let alone walk yet?"

"Humph," was the only response Renee gave him.

"Ren—Mom? Are you really here?" Bella asked, sitting up fully.

_Whoa, head rush, _she thought, lifting a shaking hand to her forehead. Looking around, she spied her suitcase lying open atop of her desk.

"Dad? What's going on?" She slowly moved her legs, dangling them over the side of the bed, preparing to stand up. "Ugh..." Bella wrapped an arm around her torso. "I don't feel so good."

Her parents shared a strange look with each other. Charlie lowered his eyes, scrubbing his hand on the back of his neck. It was a blatant indicator that he was worried about something. Renee cast a look of confusion at her daughter and then sighed.

"Bella, what happened to you?" she asked, glancing quickly at Charlie, then back to Bella. "Why wouldn't you wake up, sweetheart?"

Bella frowned in consternation. "Have I been sick or something?"

Her mother's eyes widened in surprise as she looked into her ex-husband's narrow-eyed gaze.

"Bella," her father said softly, "what exactly is the last thing you remember before you woke up just now?"

"Um," she slowly replied, "I finished unpacking after dinner, showered, read for a bit, then went to bed. Why?"

Renee placed trembling fingers over her lips as her eyes began to fill with tears. "Charlie..." she breathed out.

Charlie sat on the edge of the bed beside Bella. "What day is today?" he softly asked her.

Bella's confusion was very evident by the frown set upon her brow.

"What day is today? Um..." she chewed on her lower lip as she mulled over the reasons why he would ask that particular question. "Dad, why would you think that I wouldn't know what day today is?" she hesitated slightly, her voice beginning to quiver. "Did I fall and hit my head again?"

"No, baby, you didn't," Renee quickly answered, not giving Charlie a chance to say anything.

She sat down on the other side of Bella and put her arm around her daughter's shoulders. "Honey, just answer your dad, okay?" Renee entreated as Charlie took Bella's hand in his.

For the first time in her admittedly short life, her father looked very... frail. He looked like he would shatter into a million pieces if she so much as breathed on him too hard.

"Char—Dad? Am I okay?" She couldn't understand her parents overt concern. "What's wrong?"

"Please, baby," Renee pleaded. "Please just answer your dad's question."

"Okaaay..." Bella drawled out. "I'll tell you. But I don't understand why you're here, Mom. I just got here yesterday and I'm supposed to register and go to school today." She explained, then her eyes grew wide. "Oh! What time is it? I've got to go before I'm too late to..."

"Bells," Charlie broke in. "What. Day. Is. Today?" He enunciated each word clearly and concisely.

She simply stared at him in consternation. His forehead creased as a new, very frightening, prospect occurred to him.

"Why, Dad?" she whispered breathlessly.

"Just humor me. What is today's date?" Charlie questioned her yet again, more anxious to hear her answer than he let on.

"January fifteenth," she replied, biting her lip again when her dad sighed as he closed his eyes and bowed his head.

Shock radiated from her mom's face as tears rolled down her cheeks. She squeezed her daughter's shoulders gently. Bella didn't fail to notice the worried glances her parents gave to each other.

She stumbled weakly up off of the bed and turned slowly to face her parents. She tried to take in everything all at once. "I—I don't... What... Why are you two acting so weird? What's going on?" Bella stuttered out, baffled by her parents cryptic behavior.

She was so weak, and trembled so badly; her knees buckled.

The last thing she remembered was her father catching her as she fell, then cradling her in his arms as he sat with her on the hard, wooden floor of her bedroom.

**~*~**

Loads of love and heartfelt thanks to my wonderful beta **JudeOrion**.

If you're not reading her story '_**It's been too long**_', go... now... read it! :D

Reviews are not expected, but they are much appreciated.

Till next we meet,

Pam


	3. Chapter 3

**Splintered Existence**

"_It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, a dream."_

– Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849)

**Chapter 2 - Time Erased**

_**Forks, Washington – Friday – September 17, 2010**_

"Ms. Swan?" A man's tenor voice called to her.

The voice sounded faint against the constant beeping noise. _An alarm clock?_ Bella mused to herself. _No, not an alarm clock. But what is it? I know I've heard that sound before._

"Ms. Swan?" the man's voice repeated.

"Hmm?" she murmured, not quite sure of what was going on around her.

"Ms. Swan, can you hear me?"

"Yeah," Bella replied groggily.

"Ms. Swan, can you open your eyes?" the same man asked gently.

She opened her eyes and then promptly slammed them shut again with a groan.

"Ms. Swan?" the gentle voice sounded again.

"Yeah, ugh..." she grimaced. "Give me just a second, the lights are so bright."

"Alright, take your time."

She breathed in deep. The sharp burn of disinfectants vied for supremacy with the cloying sweet smells of cleaning chemicals. Overpowering the other scents was the stench of some kind of vile cologne polluting the stale air of the room.

Most of the scents were those that were very familiar to her. Through her own blundering clumsiness, she'd landed herself in the emergency room enough times to know the distinctive scent of a hospital when she smelled it.

Bella fully opened her eyes. She found herself laying on a bed in a small, very white, very _bright_ room.

Looking around, she spied a small chair in front of a window on her left. Between the chair and what was obviously a hospital bed she was currently occupying was the source of the beeping that was _not_ an alarm clock.

The irritating noise was coming from a heart monitor. Beside that blasted machine, was a pole with a bag of clear fluid depending from it. The IV line was, of course, attached to the reason she hated hospitals. A needle. Not only a needle, but a needle that was currently stuck into her left arm.

_Shit. I hate needles,_ Bella yelled, but only in her head. Grimacing, she looked about to complete the inventory of her surroundings.

Past the foot of her bed was an open door displaying a white toilet and sink. Just to the right of the bathroom door was what could only be described as a wardrobe; a television set was hanging from the ceiling above it.

_Would my clothes be in there?_ she wondered to herself. _By the amount of wires and tubes attached to me, I probably won't know if that's where they are for awhile yet._

Looking to the right of the television set, there was an open door leading out to the corridor. Bella looked longingly at that hopeful exit. She _really_ disliked hospitals.

Turning her head further to the right, she perused the only area in the small room that she hadn't really seen yet. She looked directly into the eyes of a man standing beside her bed with his hands clasped in front of the white lab coat he was wearing.

He was an average looking man. The only thing that really stood out about him was his pale gray eyes. Eyes that sat above a mouth that had a nice, albeit professional, smile.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Swan." The man's voice was the tenor that she'd heard just upon awakening. "I'm glad to see that you're really awake this time," he chuckled, his smile growing broader, losing some of the perfunctory professionalism as it did so.

"Afternoon, Dr...?"

"Nix." He reached out and gently shook her hand. "Your parents neglected to tell me that you talked in your sleep. There were several times this morning where I'd thought you were awake."

Bella closed her eyes with a groan. "Just great. What did I say?" she questioned him, blushing all the while.

"Nothing much, and nothing even remotely embarrassing," Dr Nix told her, a smile of understanding upon his face.

_Ugh, I'd give just about anything to stop that stupid sleep-talking._ She blushed again at that thought, wishing she'd also 'outgrow' that particular outward sign of embarrassment. Apparently, she could keep no secrets while sleeping.

Dr. Nix sat in a chair that had been hidden behind his bulk. He was a rather plump looking man. Not in an obese way, more like the roly-poly type that was reminiscent of Santa Claus greeting cards at Christmas.

He was fairly tall, somewhere around six foot. His chubby features coupled with the sparkling of his pale gray eyes exuded an air of joviality and contentment. The perfect demeanor for a psychiatrist, enabling him to put his patients at ease.

"How are you feeling now, Ms. Swan?" Dr. Nix asked smiling, making a dimple appear high on his right cheek.

Bella dismissed his question in favor of a more pressing question of her own. "Where am I?"

The Doctor's smile fell a bit. "You're at Forks Medical. Your folks brought you in here yesterday after you lost consciousness." He picked up her chart and looked at it while clearing his throat.

He opened his mouth to speak again, still looking down at her chart. Bella beat him to the punch, yet again. "First, before you start asking questions or whatever, when can I go home?"

He looked up at her, concern filling his gaze. "If you were only in here because of dehydration, you'd be going home tomorrow morning."

She looked down with a frown, twiddling with the edge of the blanket covering her. "I sense a 'but' coming along about now."

Glancing back up at him, she saw him grinning slightly. "You are _very_ perceptive, Ms. Swan. _But_," he emitted a small chuckle, "because you seem to be experiencing some other problems, you'll be in here a little bit longer than that."

Bella's eyes widened at that statement. "Can we at least get rid of these awful machines and especially this needle that is _still_ sticking in me?"

He chuckled again. "I was told that as soon as this current bag of saline has been replaced and the next one is finished, you will be needle and machine free."

She smiled. "Well, that's a _huge_ relief," she laughed. "Now, what were you going to say before I interrupted you?"

He looked back down at her chart and started speaking to her. As he began to speak, Bella felt that he was evading her eyes while talking to her since he continued to speak while looking down.

"Your parents think that you are experiencing some problems with your memories and I'd like to address that now, if that's alright with you." He finally raised his head and looked into her eyes. "What's the last thing that you remember?"

Bella frowned, narrowing her eyes. "Waking up, hearing my parents talking about me going with my mom to Florida," she answered, focusing her narrow-eyed gaze on the doctor's tie, trying to distract herself from letting her thoughts be overwhelmed with those two words – memory problems. "But, I don't..." She hesitated, licking her lips before she began again. "I don't...understand. I just got here yesterday, why would I be going back to my Mom so soon? And to Florida of all places!"

"I'll shelf that question for now. We'll come back to that soon though. I'd like to ask you one more thing before you can ask questions of you own, okay?" Dr. Nix explained, continuing on after her nod yes. "What is today's date?"

_Here we go with_ that _again, Dad has already asked me that same thing over and over again!_ Bella thought. She pretended to ponder, thinking the question was utterly ridiculous. "Let's see, yesterday was January fifteenth. So that would make this January sixteenth, right?"

"Isabella," the doctor hesitated a moment. "May I call you Isabella?"

"Just Bella, please."

His smile slipped and the look he gave her was very grave. "Isa – I mean, Bella." His lips twitched into a tiny smile before he continued. "What I have to tell you is – it might frighten you at first – I need you to be strong and stay focused, alright?"

Bella tilted her head to the side and hummed her agreement. Dr. Nix took in a breath, then pursed his lips, letting his breath out in a loud sigh. "You have been in a fugue state for approximately two days, so to speak, and yesterday you blacked out not long after becoming lucid again."

He reached over to hold both of her hands in his, her eyes widened at the concerned gaze he was giving her. "Today is September seventeenth, not January sixteenth."

"But – but... How? When?" she spluttered. Her face face suddenly felt hot and a tear trickled down her left cheek.

Dr. Nix squeezed Bella's hand slightly before letting go of them altogether. "Focus, Bella. Take a deep breath," he paused while she did. "Good. We'll get to the bottom of this together, alright? He sighed again, not used to dealing with things like this in the sleepy little town of theirs. _I hope this doesn't have to go as far as I think it may. __Hypnotherapy__ is_ not _something to embark on lightly._

He settled his facial expression into one of a more hopeful nature. "Would you like to see your parents? They've been waiting to see you and they're right outside in the hallway."

"Yes." Relief was written on her face. "Please," Bella felt an urgent need to see her mother and father in such a puzzling situation.

"I'll be waiting outside for you. When you're ready, we can all talk about this together." He smiled and walked out of the door, motioning for Bella's parents to come inside. "Charlie, let me know when you're ready for me to come back in. I'll be at the nurse's station, so just buzz me with the call button."

Charlie nodded as he walked into the tiny room, Renee following on his heels. They hesitated for a moment, not knowing how to react or how severe Bella's situation was. It took only one look into her fear filled eyes, one glance at the tears on her cheeks to break the seeming paralysis that had engulfed his feet. The next moment he had his little girl in a crushing embrace. Renee was only a step behind before she, too, had her arms around her daughter, her own tears mingling with theirs.

**~*~** **Reading Recommendations:** **Broken Flowers****—**Mrs. Moth **Defrosting Edward—**Alleab4u **Cullinary Couplings****—**Bookishqua **~*~**

Loads of love and heartfelt thanks to my wonderful beta **JudeOrion**.

If you're not reading her story '_**It's been too long**_', go... now... read it! :D

Reviews are not expected, but they are much appreciated.

Till next we meet,

Pam


	4. Chapter 4

**Splintered Existence**

"_I shut my eyes in order to see." – _Paul Gaugin

**Chapter 3 – Decisions**

_**Somewhere in the Colorado Mountains**_

_**Monday—September 20, 2010**_

Deep in the woods that encompass tall mountains, the light snow sifted through heavy boughs of evergreen. Denuded branches of interspersed deciduous trees allowed the snow to slough faster to the ground.

A tiny, dark-haired beauty stilled under one of those few bare trees. Snow began to accumulate on her hair, shoulders, and eyelashes. Snow that didn't melt as it should when alighting on a body with a heat greater than the ambient temperature outside. Her body did not move an inch, no cloud of vapor surrounded her mouth or nostrils as it should have in such cold climes. Her golden eyes, unblinking.

A light-haired man of extreme beauty was running northbound; his hard warrior's face softened by the smile that thoughts of his love always placed there. He searched for the perfect placement to hide and ambush his wife. Crouched down on the edge of a brook, he held three snowballs in hand, ready to _try _to hit her as she passed. Trying to stave away a vision of this from coming to her, in his mind he had decided not to bombard her, preferring to just juggle them instead.

_Where is she? _He thought to himself, beginning to worry about her. _She should have been here already. _Dropping the balls of snow, he began to backtrack, hoping she was just a ways back on the trail.

"Alice?" He stopped, listening as only his kind could. "Darlin', where are you?" All was still around him. No sound other than the sporadic soft ticks of snow landing. "Alice?" A soft wind picked up swirling the snow around him; his face showing the anxiety her absence always provoked within himself.

Nothing. Not a sound except that of the soft sighing of the wind and the skittering of ice crystals being blown about.

Like a shot out of a cannon, he started running; faster than was humanly possible, he came upon his mate. Lightly dusted with snow, she was standing still as a statue. Upon his approach, she would usually have turned to him with a mischievous smile and a humorous quip. But this time, none of that happened.

He came up to her slowly, not wanting to jar her from her trance too early; waiting for her to mine everything from the vision that she could. He lightly laid his arm around her shoulders and grasped her hand in his own, grounding her and giving her the safe shelter that was needed to prolong the trance until the vision had run its course. At his first touch, she closed her eyes, knowing she was safe and secure as long as he was near.

Even though visions of this nature were not uncommon for her, his worry for his love never abated. A bond as strong as theirs allowed them to be able to act almost as if they were one entity. What he needed, she provided for him; what she needed, he provided for her. As it has always been, such as it shall always be, until eternity's end. Thus is the way of vampires and their mates.

As her eyes refocused, he felt as if a mountainous weight had been lifted from him. That lasted just until the emotions the vision pulled from her slammed into him with full force. Old pain renewed. Wracking sadness. Rage at an unimaginable level. All of these emotions sliced through him, almost flinging him to the ground with their magnitude of force. This slew of emotions emanated from this one diminutive woman, brought forth by this single vision.

"Alice!" he gasped out. "Sugar, tell me what's got you to hurtin' so bad?" He wrapped her in his arms pouring all of his love and concern for her through the channel of his empathic gift.

"Jasper." she whispered raggedly, holding him tightly to herself. "We've got to go back to the house. I've got to tell them all what I've just seen!"

"Okay, sweetheart. I've got you. What was it?" He shivered in remembered pain. "It was bad, I know; I _felt _how bad it was." He was still feeling the waves of sadness and heartbreak that continued to emanate from her. His heart clenched, remembering the borrowed rage he'd felt earlier from her, while she was caught in that future vision.

While traveling back to their reclusive home forty-five miles outside of Boulder, Alice explained her vision to him. The more she spoke, the deeper her sadness and pain was shown. The more she told him, the angrier he became. Anger, pain, sadness; all were deep-seated in his wife's being.

Knowing the depth of Alice's love for their abandoned sister, the pain of their separation enraged him. He couldn't completely contain the anger he held toward his brother.

The brother that instigated the abandonment of that sister.

The brother that was the direct cause of the events surrounding her.

The brother he would beat the hell out of the moment of first opportunity for causing his beloved such heartache, then as well as now.

The object of his wrath heard Jasper's thought but moments before the front door of their shared house burst open. Jasper's momentum stripped the door hinges out of the jamb. Grasping the now freed planks of wood, he rushed over the threshold; too enraged to think his actions through beforehand, effectively surprising his telepathic brother, Edward.

In the next instant, Edward lay sprawled with the door, and Jasper, pinning him to the floor. Shrugging off the chunks of wood that the door had been reduced to, Edward flipped up into a defensive crouch. Just as he was about to lash out at this angry brother of his, Jasper barreled into him again; shoving Edward into the mantel over the fireplace, crumbling the bricks and splintering the aged oak mantelpiece. The crystal figurines atop the mantel and the framed Monet above the fireplace fell and shattered; sending twinkling shards of glass, fragments of wood, and painted canvas flying in all directions.

The noise of boulders colliding and of guttural growls resounded and echoed throughout the room, growing in volume until a single, small voice interrupted them.

"Stop!" Alice gasped aloud, hoping to get through to her husband and favorite sibling. In the ensuing silence, the sounds of rough breathing mixed with the soft tinkling sound of falling crystal and the thuds of wood fragments as they hit the floor.

Jasper, still holding Edward against the crumbling façade of the fireplace, stood nose to nose with his brother, growling as he tried to contain his all-consuming anger. He shoved himself away from Edward, putting distance between them; hoping that would help ease the emotion that claimed himself in that moment. Clenching his fists closed Jasper snarled out, "Family conference, now!" He turned his back on Edward and stiffly walked into the dining room. Alice quickly walked past a frowning Carlisle and Esme, straight into the dining room after her seething spouse.

Since vampires have no use for a room strictly set aside for the consumption of human food, the dining room was only used for meetings. This family of diverse personalities needed this prop mostly to maintain some measure of love and civility amongst themselves. At times, it was used for more drastic conferences, the discussions usually consisting of things that can affect the family in major ways.

Hearing the ruckus; Emmett and his mate, Rosalie, showed up just in time to hear their brother calling for the conference. Taking in the trashed room, they made for the dining room quickly.

_Whoa, dude! Did Jaz-man get the drop on you for a change? _Emmett thought at Edward, humor lacing through his mental voice. Edward winced, then simply nodded at his burly, perpetually jovial brother. Rose just raised her perfect, blonde eyebrows at Edward as she walked past him, letting a small snicker pass through her beautiful, plump lips.

Esme, ever the loving mother, went to her youngest" son and embraced him. No one ever vocalized it, but it was completely evident that Edward was her favored child. They has spent so much time together, just the three of them before the others came along, that she most definitely had a soft spot in her heart for him.

Still frowning, Carlisle took Esme's hand in his and led the way to the meeting. Rolling his eyes at his older brother and sister's childish exhibition, Edward followed the elders of this coven of vampires that they called a family.

As he sat at the table; an angry, yet remorseful expression marred Edward's exquisite visage as one snippet of information broke forth from the iron-clad bindings in Alice's mind. A picture of a human girl's face, one well-known to him. It was the face of the girl he loved beyond measure. It was the face of the human he felt he had to leave for her own safety. It was Bella's face, and he ached for her.

"This is the cause of Jasper's anger?" he asked Alice, frowning in his confusion.

"Yes!" Jasper yelled. "You see how leaving her affects Alice? You're damned right that's why I'm mad!" Sending Edward a baleful glare, he turned his back on him yet again.

"I don't blame you for your anger, Jasper," the superbly crafted bronze-haired man spoke, voice full of sorrow for his favorite sibling and her mate. "Please, let us talk this out as a family first," his shoulders hunched down in defeat. "And then you can beat me until your heart is content, I won't fight you."

Turning, Jasper snarled at Edward in disgust, "Yeah, just so you can feel good about being a martyr? I don't fucking think so!" Shrugging off the placating hand that Carlisle had placed on his shoulder, he moved away from both men.

"I believe that Jasper called for a family meeting for a reason," Carlisle stated, eying Alice who nodded back at him. "I suggest that we get started then, shall we?"

Surrounding the long table in their usual seats, all eyes of the family were riveted to the restless Jasper as he paced back and forth behind his seated wife. "Actually, I think Alice needs to tell y'all about her newest vision. Edward," he said, jabbing his finger pointedly at him. "I suggest that you especially need to pay very close attention to what Alice has to impart to you. Since you were the one that started this mess, you should be the one to see firsthand what you've caused to happen." He looked over to his spouse and said softly, "Alice, let him have it. Let him have it _all_."

After a few moments of watching Alice's vision, Edward winced and then gasped aloud. Body shaking, eyes wide, the only word he was capable of getting out was uttered in a guttural growl. "No!"

If vampires could shed actual tears, Edward's golden eyes would be swimming with them. As it was, all he could do was grasp his head in his hands as dry sobs wracked his body. The scenes attacked him, rolling relentlessly over him.

"What about Bella?" Esme's motherly concern burst from her, causing her words to come out harshly.

Alice began reciting aloud what Edward was seeing through her thoughts...

_Bella, her mother, and her father sat in chairs in front of a large mahogany desk. Renee and Charlie had anxious and somewhat fearful expressions__ while Bella's face looked more resigned. She appeared thin__, pale, and listless. Almost lifeless._

_A man sat behind the desk, his fingers steepled, his grey eyes concerned. He was speaking of treatment_

_options_.

"_...as Chronic Pathological Amnesia[_*****_]; or in layman's terms–long term behavioral loss of memory. Since there was no physical trauma, it stands to reason that this was induced by mental trauma._

_He got up and walked in front of the desk. Leaning his hips on it, he crossed his ankles as he looked sharply at Bella. She looked up at him and shrugged disinterestedly. The doctor looked like he couldn't understand why she seemed to not care about any of this._

"_Bella, this is a big step," the doctor said, trying to get through the apathy that had apparently settled around the young lady. "The reason I talked to you extensively, and even sent that information packet home with you is because Hypno-regressive Therapy _is_ such a huge step._

"_I know it is, Dr. Nix," Bella replied stiffly, shrugging her shoulders._

_Sighing in abject frustration, Dr. Nix turned to Charlie and Renee. Knowing intuitively that the young woman hadn't talked to her parents about this particular topic, he told them the specifics that _should_ have already been broached by their daughter._

"_You see, some memories are like secrets that aren't yours__ to tell. They will dart down any memory corridor or channel to stay hidden. There are parts of memories that are what we call__ 'inhibitors'. They will try to suppress any conscious action to bring those "secret"__ hidden memories to light._

_Conversely, there are also other parts of those same memories that will use any subconscious means to bring these hidden memories back to the surface. What happens is that in a subconscious stat of mind you would, or more accurately could, unblock all of the memories that are locked away. So subconscious hypnosis could be the key back to normalcy for your daughter." He glanced meaningfully at Bella, who just shrugged again with a scowl._

"_That's the good news." He straightened up and walked back to his chair behind the desk._

_Taking in a large breath, he sighed before continuing. "The bad news is that it could also bring back every bad memory to the forefront of her mind. Meaning__ every traumatic experience could come back to her with a tidal wave effect. Or even__ the opposite could happen, it could take even more memories and lock them away."_

_He looked at all three of the people in his office. "So, it looks like a decision must be made between..."_

"Then the vision fades away and I don't have a clue as to what _her _decision will be yet".

Jasper stopped his pacing and spoke to everyone in the room. "It seems like we have our own decisions to make. If she decides to go through with the hypno-therapy, she could out us." He paused, picking his words carefully. "Not only will we be executed, but she will as well," he finished his sentence with a glare at Edward.

"I knew letting a human get close to this family would be the death of us all," Rosalie sneered, raking Edward and Alice with a scathing glance.

"Rosalie!" Carlisle said harshly. That single word admonishment was enough to shut her up. But clearly not enough to make her contrite about the words she had spoken.

Jasper jumped in at that point. "Right or wrong, the deed has already been done. Now we need to figure out what to do in the event that she _does _decide on therapy of that sort." He glanced at Carlisle. "We still have some decisions of our own to make, and we better be quick about it."

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[*] - Since I've no idea if this is correct at all, please don't hate me for what I've put in here! If there are any medical people here that'd like to tell me if I'm even a little bit close... Or even if you want to tell me that I've lost my ever loving mind, please feel free to let me know. Or even coach me for that matter!

Lol – pja

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**Reading Recommendations:**

**The Marksman—**Bella Madonna and Melobel (recently completed)

**Dream Walker—**A Cullen Wannabe

**A Family Affair—**babakisses

Thanks go out to my wonderful Beta: **JudeOrion**

Reviews are not expected, but they are much appreciated.

Till next we meet,

Pam


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